Sprinkles
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Pickles'. I own nothing.


At Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash is pitching in and tending to Fluttershy at the counter.

Rainbow Dash: (unenthusiastically) Welcome to the Cakes' Bakery. My name is Rainbow Dash. Of course, you already know that, but…May I take your order?

Fluttershy: Um…oh, I'll have a…

Rainbow Dash gets out her pencil and paper.

Fluttershy: …no.

She puts it away.

Fluttershy: Maybe…

She takes it out again.

Fluttershy: …no.

Another false alarm.

Fluttershy: Hmm…I'll have…

She prepares to take her shy friend's order.

Fluttershy: …no. Or maybe…

Rainbow Dash: Are you planning on ordering today, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: I'll have a…vanilla cupcake?

Rainbow Dash: How original.

Fluttershy: And with…extra frosting, please.

Rainbow Dash: Daring today, aren't we?

She writes it down and hands the paper to Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash: One vanilla cupcake, extra frosting!

Pinkie: One cryin' Johnny comin' up! First batter, then pour, then bake. Wait…

She waits for the cupcakes to bake in the oven.

Pinkie: Take them out, then add wrapper, extra icing, sprinkles, and done, in that order! One cryin' Johnny! UP!

Rainbow Dash: Whatever.

She hands the cupcake to a thankful Fluttershy, then takes Bon-Bon's order.

Rainbow Dash: Twelve chocolate chip cupcakes!

Pinkie rapidly puts the cupcakes on the plate, reciting the steps on how to make them at lightning-fast speed.

Pinkie: (Southern accent) One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! UP!

Rainbow Dash: (sarcastically) Thanks, Applejack. (to Bon-Bon) It's been a thrill serving you.

Bon-Bon: Can I get some extra sweetener?

Rainbow Dash: We're all out.

Bon-Bon: Could you check?

Rainbow Dash: No.

Bon-Bon glares and takes her cupcakes.

Next up to order is a large animal, half eagle and half lion.

Rainbow Dash and Gilda glare daggers at each other, having recently ended their friendship.

Rainbow Dash: Let me guess, Tiny. A small salad?

Gilda: I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

Rainbow Dash: …We serve food here.

Pinkie: I've got it already, Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie gasps and recognizes the large griffon.

Pinkie: Gilda!

Gilda pushes Rainbow Dash aside.

Gilda: Pinkie Pie…I hear talk you make a mean cupcake.

Pinkie: Yep. I hear talk you're, uh…kinda mean and picky.

Gilda: Yep.

Pinkie: Well, then…(happily) Here you go!

Gilda sits down and plays with the cupcake a little before taking a bite.

Pinkie: Well, Gilda…What do you think?

Gilda: This is pretty good. Only one thing…You forgot the sprinkles!

All the customers gasp at Pinkie's error.

Pinkie: No!

Gilda: The best there is? I don't think so. You lose. Eeheeheeheeheeheehee! Eeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!

Pinkie picks the cupcake off the ground and inspects it for sprinkles.

Pinkie: But…the sprinkles should be right where they always are! I know I put them on!

The customers begin to walk away as Pinkie frantically searches for the lost sprinkles.

Pinkie: Where are those sprinkles?! Sprinkles! Sprinkles! SPRINKLES!

Gilda walks up to Mr. Cake and pushes Rainbow Dash out of the way for no reason.

Gilda: I believe you owe me two bits.

Mr. Cake: Two bits?!

Gilda: Your guarantee.

Zoom in on the menu, where a guarantee in super tiny print reads 'Money-back guarantee'.

Mr. Cake: Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this?

He regretfully forks over the two bits.

Gilda: No.

He tries to take the money back, but Gilda's height prevents him from grabbing it.

Mr. Cake: How about a discount on restroom tokens?

Gilda: Afraid not.

Mr. Cake: How about a free glass of water?! A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! No! Come back! Two bits! Two bits, no! No!

As soon as Gilda leaves, he angrily walks over to Pinkie Pie, still searching the mess that used to be a cupcake for sprinkles.

Pinkie: Mr. Cake, I know I put sprinkles on that cupcake!

Mr. Cake: Well, that two bits is coming out of your paycheck!

He grabs Pinkie and drags her back to the kitchen.

Pinkie: Wait! Wait! WAIT!

He places her in front of the stove.

Mr. Cake: Get back to work! We've got orders waiting!

Rainbow Dash: I need a strawberry cupcake.

Pinkie: Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Batter down. Then bake, then frosting, then…sprinkles? No! That's not right!

She gets out another cupcake pan and a new batch of batter.

Pinkie: Batter down. Frosting, then bake, wrapper, then the sprinkles? No!

She fixes up a new batch of batter and tries again.

Pinkie: Frosting down, bake stuff down, d'oh! Where's the batter go?!

She gets another cupcake pan.

Pinkie: Sprinkles, bake, wait! Think! Think! I'm losing it! Batter down, horseshoe, wrapper, cupcake pan, batter, no!

Mr. Cake walks in and notices the huge mess in the kitchen.

Pinkie: Mr. Cake, I'm so confused! I can't remember how to do anything!

Mr. Cake: Why don't you take the rest of the day off?

Pinkie: Oh, no, Mr. Cake. Who will make the cupcakes?

Mr. Cake: Well, Mrs. Cake's out of town with the twins…But don't worry about that. We've got Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Huh?

Pinkie walks out of the kitchen to go to her room.

Pinkie: Mr. Cake is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it batter, pour, bake…

She looks up and notices that the door to the upstairs is missing.

Pinkie: The door! The door! Mr. Cake, the door is missing!

He opens the door about two feet away from her.

Pinkie: Oh. Hehe. Sorry about that, Mr. Cake. That sprinkles thing has got me all messed up. I'd better get on home and rest my brain…Uh, which way do I live?

He points upstairs and slightly to the right.

Pinkie: Of course. Hehe.

Later, Pinkie is in her room, furiously trying to write down the cupcake recipe. Wads of crumpled up paper are all around her as she thinks.

Pinkie: No, no! Was it batter, pour, batter…Let's see, wrapper, sprinkles, wrapper? No. Batter? No. Batter? No. Horseshoe?

She throws the paper and pencil away.

Pinkie: I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight.

Pinkie puts on her pajamas and gets ready to get in bed.

Pinkie: Oh…was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then Pinkie? Or…d'oh, think Pinkie! Oh, yeah! It was mattress, Pinkie, mattress, then sheets, pillow.

She sandwiches herself between the mattresses.

Pinkie: Good night, Gummy.

The tiny alligator blinks in response.

Pinkie: Aw, this isn't right.

She slips out and stands upside-down on her bed.

Pinkie: Good night, Gummy.

Blink.

Pinkie: Wait, this isn't right either.

She lies on her back like a human.

Pinkie: Nope.

She manages to slip in between the headboard.

Pinkie: Nuh-uh.

She tries sleeping with the mattress on her head.

Pinkie: Negative.

She is on the ground, sleeping next to her mattresses.

Pinkie: C'mon, c'mon! Get it right!

She tries on top of the headboard.

Pinkie: Wrong.

Pinkie keeps trying to sleep the right way until her alarm clock goes off.

Come sunrise, she is trying under her bed.

Pinkie: Aw, I almost had it!

A tired Pinkie approaches her alarm clock.

Pinkie: Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!

She sees Gummy blinking.

Pinkie: Gummy!

She picks him up and uses him to smash the alarm clock, which causes him no physical pain, as he is still blinking.

Back at the Cakes' Bakery, you can hear Rainbow Dash coughing as black smoke fills the kitchen. She turns on the fire extinguisher and puts out the burning cupcake pan.

Rainbow Dash: Cupcakes are done.

Mr. Cake inspects the burnt remnants of cupcakes in the pan with icing barely squirted on them.

Mr. Cake: Ugh.

BG Pony: Hey, she burnt my cupcake.

Derpy: She burnt my muffins!

Snails takes a sip of a blackened milkshake.

Snails: She burnt my shake!

All the customers grumble and exit the bakery.

Mr. Cake: No! Come back! No! No! Grr…I've got to get Pinkie back!

Mr. Cake walks up to her room and notices a toaster nailed on the door.

He opens it to find a chaotic state of disarray in Pinkie's room.

Mr. Cake: Pinkie? Pinkie?

Pinkie walks up to him with underwear on her head.

Pinkie: Mr. Cake, hello. Do you how do?

Mr. Cake: Why are you talking funny, Pinkie.

He takes his underwear off of her head.

Pinkie: I anything can't do right since because sprinkles.

Mr. Cake: Nonsense, you'll be back making cupcakes like your old self in no time.

Pinkie: I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Cake.

She walks off.

Mr. Cake: But you're fine, Pinkie!

She crashes through the door to her eating area.

Mr. Cake: Oh…uh, well…maybe not.

She is busy nailing a piece of bread to the table.

Mr. Cake: All we need to do is get your confidence back so you can make me more money, I-I-I mean, cupcakes.

Pinkie: I how do that?

Mr. Cake: It's like riding a bike. You never forget!

He notices a bicycle in a pot of boiling water on the stove.

Mr. Cake: Uh…I'm gonna help you.

They both sit on the floor.

Mr. Cake: If you learn to make a cupcake again, your life will be back in order.

He takes out a picnic blanket with all the ingredients for making cupcakes. Even a small electric stove is included.

Pinkie: Mr. Cake, I don't know if I-

Mr. Cake: Take your time.

Pinkie lets night turn into day, staring at the ingredients and figuring out what to do.

She reaches toward some eggs, and Mr. Cake gets excited.

Pinkie: No, no, no, no, no.

Another day goes by, and Mr. Cake has long since fallen asleep until Pinkie wakes him up.

Pinkie: I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Cake!

Mr. Cake: It is?

Pinkie: Yes! I finally realize that I CAN'T DO IT! I can't do it, Mr. Cake! I'm a failure!

Mr. Cake: Don't talk like that.

Pinkie: Don't you get it, you pretentious cheapskate?! I can't make a cupcake with the works! I can't make batter, then put it in a cupcake pan, put it in the oven, wait…Then, take them out, and add a wrapper, frosting, and sprinkles in that order!

She looks down and notices that she has made a perfect cupcake.

Mr. Cake: (squinting) It's time.

Pinkie and Mr. Cake walk back downstairs. She goes into the kitchen and pushes a blackened Rainbow Dash out.

BG Pony: Hey, Pinkie's back!

Customers flood into the bakery, demanding a cupcake. Then, a large griffon pushes customers aside to see what's causing the commotion.

Gilda: I hear Pinkie's back!

She opens the kitchen door, ready to face the merciless criticism of Gilda.

Pinkie: I'm right here, Gilda.

Gilda: I thought I ran you out of town.

She spits a loogie into a bucket.

Pinkie: This is where I belong.

She picks up a mixer.

Gilda: RAAAAAAAAR!

Pinkie: Rawr.

The customers gasp at Pinkie's coolness in this situation.

Gilda: Give me a regular vanilla cupcake. And this time…don't forget the sprinkles.

She zips into the kitchen, and comes back half a second later with Gilda's order.

Pinkie: I didn't.

Mr. Cake is sweating a river as Gilda slowly bites into the cupcake. Everyone holds their breath to hear the griffon's judgment of Pinkie's work.

Gilda: Still no sprinkles!

Everyone gasps.

Gilda: See?

She holds her tongue out and shows everypony the chewed up food in her mouth.

Customers: Eww!

Gilda: You failed again, Loser Pie! Eeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!

While Gilda is laughing in victory, Pinkie notices something.

Pinkie: Wait a minute!

She grabs Gilda's tongue and holds it up for everypony to see.

Pinkie: Look! She's been hiding the sprinkles under her tongue the whole time!

Mr. Cake: And there's the sprinkles from last time, too!

Rarity: And there's my hairbrush!

Everypony surrounds a nervous Gilda.

Gilda: And…there's my ride.

She runs out of the bakery and flies away into the distance.

Mr. Cake: Three cheers for the return of our apprentice, Pinkie Pie! Hip hip!

Customers: Hooray!

Mr. Cake: Hip hip!

Customers: Hooray!

Mr. Cake: Hip hip!

Customers: Hooray!

Pinkie: And three cheers for the pony who took my place when I was gone, Rainbow Dash! Hip hip!

Customers: Boo!

Rainbow Dash frowns.

Pinkie: Hip hip!

Customers: Boo!

Pinkie: Hip hip!

Customers: Boo!

Pinkie: Hip hip!

Dr. Whooves: BOO, YOU STINK!


End file.
